Thoughts

Have you ever been to a wake where the friends and family talked about the dead having a premonition?
Apparently some people have a premonition when they're going to die, some people get it in a dream, and some saintly people actually know the time and day of their demise.

Last Saturday, Reg and Brian picked me up early to visit the Locsin furniture factory all the way in Bulacan.
We were there to check up on the piece I am creating in collaboration with Locsin International, the company that created such beautiful furniture as the Onion daybed that Cristiano Ronaldo and I both own (jeje)



and this Igloo chair in "Sex and the City" movie, among many others.



The trip didn't take long, or so it seemed because the three of us were engaged in conversation, while a driver took us to the factory.



The factory looked like a sci-fi movie set.



The piece we are working on was awesome and needed very few adjustments. I'm excited to see it woven and the final product launched in a couple of months.
After lunch at a Chinese restaurant where the duck was heaven, we headed back to Manila.
The ride was a breeze—on a smooth road and no traffic. It was a beautiful day filled with sun.

I'm the type of person who loves to sleep in a moving car. For a while, I closed my eyes and let the sun shine on my face. And I felt the presence of God.
It was as though I was flying with my arms outstretched, and cliché as it may sound, I felt embraced by the light.
I thought, maybe this is what death feels like. It was so peaceful, not scary at all.
I thought about the dead that I knew, that maybe it wasn't so bad when they died. Maybe it was this peaceful.
I opened my eyes. Reg was there to my left, Brian and the driver were in front and we made it back safely.



Then last night I had a dream like no other. It wasn't a dream-dream but kind of a consciousness.
It felt like I was allowed to see parts of my life, the decisions that brought me there and the consequences that resulted.
I was watching my life from a distance, it was all peaceful, there was no fear.
I was able to understand why certain things happened, and at the end of it, all was okay.
The message I got was, whatever is happening here in your life on earth is not a big deal, even though it seems like a big deal.
When your life is over, you will realize your life was so small compared to what's out there beyond.
I don't have any idea why these thoughts are coming to me. I have not been reading death and dying books.
I am not suffering in any way and not taking any weird drugs.



Those two separate thoughts made me wonder why I'm getting them. I decided to tell Jeroen about it.
Jeroen understood exactly what I was saying and said, "Scary."
"No Jeroen, it wasn't scary, it was peaceful," I clarified.
"No it's scary....I love you," he said soberly.
"I know," I said thoughtfully.
But I don't want to die, not anytime soon. I have so many things and people to take care of.
The reason why I told him is because I think that if I reveal things before they happen, they will not occur (read: usog).



All my life I've been living in guilt and worry—due to Catholic training—that I am so in trouble when I die because I do not follow all the rules.
Hard to explain, but if my thoughts are real, there is nothing to fear. I read somewhere that when we die will realize that the real message is as simple as Love.
I have some friends that are going through problems, and I just want to tell them even though things seems like a big deal right now, maybe we shouldn't worry too much because there is something bigger out there and it is not on planet Earth.
I don't know if I'm going to get any more thoughts or messages in the coming days, meanwhile I am constantly praying, "Angel of God, my guardian dear..."