No Other Woman is about a love triangle between a young married (childless) couple (Derek Ramsay + Cristine Reyes) and a jetskiing resort world heiress (Anne Curtis).
Derek plays Ram Escaler whose day job is Artistic Director of uglyfurniture.com.
He is married to Sharmaine, a simple girl housewife who crochets on her free time (Cristine Reyes).
The couple live in a gaudy, gilded house, along with Sharmaine’s family. Her father looks like a truck driver and her mother is a very simian-looking Carmi Martin. One wonders what the family business is.
While the whole house may have been decorated by April Boy Regino, luckily, Ram and Sharmaine’s bedroom remain in good taste.
One day, a very gay designer walks into Ram’s showroom to place a big order of furniture for a new resort owned by Tirso Cruz (not the third, but the Pip).
Ram gets to fly out into the island/resort to meet the boss (Pip) who turns out to be his father’s old frienemy. Here it is revealed that Ram has real baggage as he is estranged from his loser father.
During his free time, Ram dives into the water, where the jetskiing heiress, Kara Zalderiaga (Anne Curtis) almost hits him. For some reason, she chooses to dive into the water, where she loses her bikini top.
Fortunately, the bikini top is conveniently floating very near to Ram. He fishes this out of the water, while Kara encourages him to put it on her. (Here starts the grossfest. Sorry but I’m one of the minority who doesn’t find Derek cute. I find him short, dark, and bald. Plus the whole bikini top scene is so Pinoy komiks—cringe!!)
They meet again at the boss’s office where Ram finds out that the girl he flirted with in the water is actually the boss’s daughter (read: Tirso). It doesn’t hurt that she’s dressed like a Preview cover girl 24/7.
Through Kara’s help, Ram gets the green light to design and manufacture furniture for the resort.
Because of this, the two have to meet up and work together. This includes teaching Kara how to play golf in a bathing suit.
During one of their business meetings in their swim suits in the water at sunset, Ram informs Kara that he’s married. She replies in the tone of Friends With Benefits: no problem, no falling in love, now kiss me you fool (Cringefest #2!!).
Meanwhile, simple housewife Sharmaine has dialed too many missed calls to her husband. She decides to go to the laundry section of her house to inspect his garments, where she finds the wedding ring inside one of his trousers.
He is so in trouble!! The suspicious housewife further investigates and opens his agenda where he conveniently left a Post-It note of his dinner date at 7th High. This is where Simple Girl goes to meet Preview Girl in the restroom, and where the two lovers are nearly caught in the act of a dinner date—to which I say: if you’re having an affair, you do not have dinner at Bonifacio High Street, you go to St. Lucia East.
(To be continued….napagod ako)
Originally published at Chuvaness.com. Please leave any comments there.